Se il buon giorno si vede dal mattino....

Here I am, back in bolo (yeah).
Just today is going to be a miserable day. How do I know it?
Well...yesterday night as I saw her beauty I realized (once again, please someone tells me how many realizations I have to go through before being done with this) that I'm hopeless. Not going to happen.
This morning I woke up and guess what? Another realization, my incetive to go to lesson is not my incentive anymore, actually it never should have been. Ends up I'm sad and start thinking how stupid I am, making the same mistake everytime, depending on people when I have no right in one case because even if she wants to give me what I want, well dear you can't, in the other case because...well there has never been anything between me and the boy, it was just me wishing there could be, denying reality itself. But Marty how much do you love denying reality and go hide in the corner of your head in your ideal beautiful perfect world?! I love it much, that doesn't mean it's right. Actually it's not at all.
And at the end I always wonder: will I ever be able to stand up on my own. Try to believe, but I don't feel like trying yet.
This my friends is what I mean for vicious circle.
Have a nice day, nicer than mine that is!